You’re married – NOW what?

I have been in SL now for over two years. I was never going to make the same newbie mistake again with getting married. It was a fun feeling with that special feeling which reproduces the elation of young love, but too many use annominity to hide things that cause pain later. I am not going to DO THAT again! No, not me… *sheesh*I have watched my friends and those that I have performed marriages for as “Priestess of the Universe” and the bottom line is that boredom sets in and the average marriage last 2-3 months. This causes all sorts of trauma at least for one partner as illusions are shattered. Whether this is caused by infidelity, lies, broken promises.. the fact that your wife is really a guy.. or whatever :) .

You both go thru the giggles and freedom of trying out all the beds, position animations and other stuff you would never do with just anyone. That can keep you both busy for awhile on the quest for the perfect…ah.. exstacy.

I have then watched the evolution of those who have gone thru getting a place decorating it, then building a house, buying land and then a sim, opening a business and then even starting a family. All the role playing factors that are available as projects that could be coupled oriented. But, alas, these all come to an end.. same animations, did that, done that, got the t-shirt.

So the choice is.. bring the relationship into real and start THAT never ending transition of disillusionment or??…..What?

So brillant me I would skirt the whole issue.. knowing that relationships only last about 3 mo.. I set my wedding three months in advance. Said I wanted to build the perfect fairy tale castle for the wedding.. figured by that time he would get bored with me and no harm ..no foul. Alas the man has staying power and we were married Jan. 3, 2009 at the Castle Happenstance declared Mr. & Mrs. Bombastic for all the world to know and view on YouTube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Xiii1RsR-Q

So now what? I have already had a business, already learned to build my creations..already have …umm.. *cough coughed* enough to know what was available. So how do I keep the excitement and thrill of our marriage going?

The current solution.. A World Cruise!!! We both liked to travel. There is the SS Galaxy Cruise ship in world where we have now rented a cabin and I have decorated it with great class with only 200 prims.

There are tons of World Cruise itineraries out on the web. We have picked one that will take at least 3 months. We each take every-other port and do the following.. smile.

On the Web find out these facts:
1. What language is spoken at that port?
2. What currency and current exchange rate?
3. What tours are offered from that port?
4. What form of transportation will we use to get there?
(this has been particularly fun since you can buy bikes, and taxis and surf boards or roller skates..hehe)
5. What souvieners do we want to make sure to look for at this locale. (Hey, marajauna is legal here!..lol)
6. How do you ask: “Where is the bathroom?”

B>On YouTube find videos of the things we wish to see or tours to take.
It is totally amazing!! This has not been hard at all..Something for almost anything.
1. Find up to three. (We have a YouTube TV inworld that we view these on together as if we were really there. “Can you believe that guy wore those shorts in here?’ and other silly comments)

C> Now that we have selected the tour we wish to do at this port..lets find a reproduction of it somewhere in-world.
1. This can mean a name sake of the place or just somewhere that has a rainforest to explore or horses to ride…whatever tour you have selected for that port. You dont get long at each port on a cruise.
2. Buy an outfit and the transportation and get the link ready for when your partner comes in world. When it is your turn to lead the port activities..hand off your purchases and selections & try them out. This can be a giggle in themselves(example: as in devil island I decided to make prison garbs for us. (first time I am making clothes using a texture map).

On sea days we can view the ocean(use the eviromental editor here to get a host of amazing sunsets and water shimmers) and talk about rl and catch up on what is happening in our non-common hours together or explore the boat and their many activities.

We chose an ancient civilization itinerary so we have history to discuss as well for each location we plan on visiting.

D>Finally since this is our World Cruise honeymoon.. We have to take pictures of each location.

1. Go out to Google and find a spot that typifies that location bring the photo in world and make a backdrop that you raise or lower in dimensions until you get the proper proportion and then select a pose off of Rendevous and take a couple picture, pull it into photoshop, name it and date it and put it in a photo album book to keep forever.

There is no end of things you can learn and explore together, and thanks to the Internet, YouTube, & Google map.. of Earth and the universe..WOOT!.

Hence, maybe, JUST maybe.. we will break some sort of record for a happy SL marriage. A learning experience with someone you love..a giggle with new ways of looking at things. How can it get any better than that?

SL & RL Cross over

Ok down to the nitty gritty… How and what crosses over from SL to Real.

Sigh…It is hard to say things when you know that it will be taken badly. First let me try to define SL and RL love.

SL love is based on spirit to spirit connection that uses this electronic medium to merge two souls on an intimate level, sometimes more intimate than a RL love. No biological or physical interference with health, wealth and habits.. just plan and direct soul to soul…thought to thought. I imagine this could be very much like what happens when we leave our biological avatars for the other side. It can be a pure total connection sacred, kept in that environment, and honored as such (It is a real type love)…OR

It can be a total ruse..someone playing a role..pretending and saying what is expected to be heard. If both parties understand openingly that this is a Barbie and Ken playworld there can be much enjoyment in that and still a viable connection grown out of that roleplay.

As a counselor for SL couples these are the things that throw troubles in the way of the relationships.

1. Trust-since anyone can remove the view from their name, come in as an alt, miss communicate their intentions..(yes this happens in text, voice..just like in real)…or just out and out lie.

2. Boredom- you talk about just so many things, share your RL and your hopes and dreams.. build a house together, maybe a cartoon baby, club.. start an organization… Eventually there is really nothing left to do.

3.Desire for cross over-The very voicing of what we would do together in real adds an element of real life that will now complicate the SL relationship.

Real life love is an extremely complex issue with physical attraction, body odor, age, health, height, habits, wealth, family obligations etc etc. all playing very intense components. Relationships get discarded cause one is a bad kisser or the other one talks to much on the phone, or bites their nails. Real life love suffers from trust and boredom issues as well. Real world love has complexities they just have not worked into SL. What is for dinner? Who is cleaning the bathroom? But there are alot of things that bring two people who have committed to each other together to fight the opposing forces. The work together over time that builds a lifetime of common experiences, is still very rare in real.

My best advice is keep that sacred bond with your SL love, cherish it for the level that it is.. don’t ruin it with trying to cross over.

If you wanna establish a RL friendship that is doable..but do not expect the passion that is felt from your perfect imaginated lover to cross over for more than a few short hours.. RL limits will beat it down.

Keep it for it’s value.. cherish it and enjoy all the RL changes that feeling love can do for your RL body, but keep it in SL.

OK.. *ducks and covers*.. I am ready for the barrage of disagreement.

August 8th Meeting – Augmentation or Immersion How should we Play within SL?

The next meeting is 8am at Pamalot for the Roadside Philosophers

The subject that is up for discussion is Immersion or Augmentation.

Do we play as if we WERE our avatar and treat others as if that is so.. or do we look at it as another avenue to explore and try out new things? 

I think we need a scale that tells at what level a person is playing in the game… From I think of my avatar as Mario Brothers 1.. to 10 If you do it to me in here you are doing it to me in real!

Society in the Bedroom- July 25th – Meeting Roadside Philosophers

The YouTube video of the exerpts of the meeting…adjust volume for different speakers…sorry

The July 25th Meeting on Society in the Bedroom

Click on the name to activate above link…Lets hope this works..smile